yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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