We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
