you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
