The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
