so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
