we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We left an ass print on the piano.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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