I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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