I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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