Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
