GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
