Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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