My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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