The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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