so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
