He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize