Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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