I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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