do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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