What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
