Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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