May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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