We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
