i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize