Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
