Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Be still, my beating vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
