so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
