Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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