so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
