Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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