For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
