How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
