Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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