You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
