Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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