i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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