I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize