So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
