Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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