eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
