Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
