i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
