She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
