Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize