i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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