My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
