I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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