walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
