I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
