I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
