Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
