those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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