You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
