They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
