In America we eat man semen.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
