Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
