just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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