tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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