So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
