your thong is hanging out like whoa
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize