I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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