dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
