I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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