Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
